Offering yourself in less than 4, 000 characters to a scholastic you have never met is pretty overwhelming even for the most secure sixth-form student. So we’ve assembled some dos and don’ts to make sure you show your self inside most effective light.

Listed here are eight don’ts

• Do not spend centuries attempting to produce a perfect, snappy first line – write any such thing and go back to it later on.
• Avoid cliches. Based on the Ucas Guide to Getting into University and College, probably the most overused orifice phrases this present year were variants of “from an early age We have for ages been interested in…” This looks formulaic and is a waste of figures.
• Known quotes should-be avoided, since these is found in countless various other applications. By way of example, this line by Coco Chanel was within 189 programs for fashion classes this present year: “Fashion isn’t something that exists in outfits only.”
• Don’t record your passions, display them. Professor Alan Gange, mind associated with the department of biological sciences at Royal Holloway, University of London, claims: “really performing something, as an example joining a national culture or volunteering for a preservation organisation, informs me that students have a passion.”
• Style issues. Don’t be chatty and make use of slang, but however, you shouldn’t be pretentious. Cathy Gilbert, director of customer method at Ucas, says: “If you try too hard to wow with lengthy words that you are perhaps not confident making use of, the focus of one’s writing could be lost.”
• Don’t ask way too many men and women for advice. Input from teachers is effective, but it is important the student’s personality results in.

Nicole Frith, 19, who has simply begun a BSc in Geography on University of Durham, asked two educators for suggestions about content. “i’d seriously advise against asking teacher after teacher, ” she stated. “There isn’t any these types of thing as an amazing individual statement, and everyone has actually various opinions.” Many admissions workplaces are happy to provide basic advice, as well as the Ucas site features video guides on the best way to plan and write your statement.

Today is a big day at A Chat Over Coffee! Not only do we have our first ever guest post written especially for this blog, but the author is none other than my seventeen-year-old daughter! Abigail wanted to offer her thoughts on contentment from the perspective of a teenager. The thoughts and opinions expressed in this post are Abigail’s. The only edit I made was to remind her that the blog is known as “A Chat Over Coffee”, not “Mom’s blog”, to people outside of our family. Mothers of teenagers will understand…

Hello, A Chat Over Coffee readers. My name is Abigail, and I am Leigh’s daughter. I believe she’s mentioned me a few times in previous posts. We’ve been discussing her various financial posts as she puts them on the blog, and she’s even had me proofread a few of them to see what I think. Since we’d been discussing it so much, I asked my mother if I could write a guest post for her blog talking about the teenage perspective on financial matters. Because I am her daughter, it’s likely that our views are very similar, but as a young person I probably approach situations a bit differently because my generation has different values and views on money.

A major topic of interest that I’ve noticed in teenage interactions is that of contentment. The atmosphere surrounding children and teenagers is not one of gratefulness. We are pummeled with a barrage of messages telling us that we should be dissatisfied with our lives and that we are not “good enough”- whatever the definition of “good enough” may be. It’s hard to be content in a world where you’re constantly told that you deserve everything you think you want without facing consequences. Having been brought up by my parents to be content and responsible with my money has given me a slightly different outlook on life than a majority of my peers.

I am not saying this as a way of making myself sound better than anyone else- on the contrary, I insisted on learning many lessons the hard way. However, because I was made to take responsibility for my actions and given a good example to follow, these lessons have stuck with me and affect every financial decision I make. I cannot emphasize enough how much having my parents demonstrate these principles for me has influenced my outlook on life. The world does not teach contentment or the value of patience- instant gratification is the default setting for many people.

Teenagers are notoriously impulsive, and if we are not taught to be content with what we have and to save our money, we will spend it. No exceptions. Even worse, unless we are taught the value of money and the work that goes into earning the money we spend, we will never take care of what we’ve been given. I had a friend who was a chronic smartphone-destroyer, and somehow was always given a new device whenever she broke one. She was constantly treating her smartphone carelessly because she didn’t have any respect for the money it took to replace them. She had not been taught the value of hard work, and as a result, she was costing herself money.

My parents deliberately took a different approach. From the time I was very small, I learned that everything I had took work to obtain. “Nothing in life is free” was a phrase that I heard very often, but I never felt like I was being trained into a cynical view of the world. Rather, what they were trying to teach me was that someone had to work and sacrifice in order for me to have nice things- someone in a factory, a restaurant, or an office worked so that I could have a free sample or a complimentary t-shirt. My mother worked in the kitchen so that I would have tasty meals to eat. My father worked at his job every day because he was earning money to support us. I was constantly being shown what it looked like to work hard and receive the benefits of your work- but at the same time, my parents made it a point to show my sibling and I that we were far more valuable than any material item.

My parents also taught me that I would have to control my money, or it would control me. Unfortunately I liked to learn things the hard way, so this lesson didn’t settle in right away. I remember one instance in particular, where I found a shirt at a store that I wanted to buy. However, I didn’t have enough money in order to purchase it. I decided that the solution was to borrow money from a friend and pay them back once I got home. When my father heard what I had done, he took me back to the store and made me return the shirt and repay the person I’d borrowed from immediately. I was very embarrassed, but I’d learned an important lesson about money: If you can’t afford it, you can’t have it. Period.

From that point on I kept an eye on my money, and I became more aware of how the teenagers around me treated the idea of money. Many of them begged money from their parents whenever they wanted to buy something, or they borrowed from friends with no intention to repay them. Many of them also had jobs and received a paycheck. Despite this constant flow of money, it seemed like they never had enough to buy what they wanted, or even what they needed. Where did the money go? Well, a trip to Starbucks here, an overpriced soft drink there, a trip to the movies or to the mall, and suddenly there wasn’t enough money to buy gas to get them to work the next week.

As I watch my friends continue to handle their money recklessly, I am occasionally tempted to let myself relax a bit. “Why not go to the mall? Why not buy an expensive new outfit? Everyone else is doing it, and they seem to be fine.” But every time I think about letting loose, I am reminded of the patience and firmness of my parents’ instruction. “Give to God first, save for college second, and the rest is yours to enjoy.” “You are the example, not the exception.” I cannot allow myself to pretend that I am ignorant of life’s consequences, because I see their impact every day. I have been taught discipline, and therefore I choose to control my money, not the other way around.

I’m not going to pretend it’s easy. Peer pressure is a crushing weight, and I am aware of it every day. However, if good and worthwhile things were easy, everyone would do them. I would not have learned financial responsibility if my parents had not drilled it into me, because the world does not promote a lifestyle of contentment. Nobody else is going to teach teenagers how to control themselves; as much as we hate to admit it sometimes, our parents are the people we emulate. We may have other role models and important people in our life, but to be honest with you, we are watching our parents and developing life perspectives based on what we see. I don’t think we always realize we’re doing it, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized how much I learned simply from watching my parents as I grew up. They didn’t just tell me what I was supposed to do- they showed me. As Paul says in Philippians, “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.” (Phil. 4:11b) I didn’t learn to do this on my own. I had parents acting as teachers and living examples that there is a better way of life than living in the now.

“I CAN is 100 times more important than IQ”

Book Smarts Aren’t the Only Way to Measure Intelligence

One of the major flaws in our public education system today (at least in my humble opinion) is the focus on standardized test scores. A child’s level of intelligence is NOT determined by how well or how poorly they score on a test. This form of traditional testing only reflects one form of intelligence. If you don’t make the grade on these tests, you will very likely be labeled as possessing only substandard intelligence compared to the rest of the world.

We all know what these kinds of labels can do to a young child (or adult for that matter) and how destructive they can be to self-esteem. A person who does poorly in school may be a complete genius in building things with their hands. A person who failed every class through school might just have an emotional intelligence that is off the charts and is able to connect with and help other people in a very powerful way.

I’m not saying that there is no place for standardized tests, and I understand the school system’s need to place some measure on performance. What I am saying is there are other ways to not just measure intelligence, but to build intelligence (and self-esteem).

I’m also not saying that you have to go out and single-handedly reform the entire education system. What I am saying is that there are simple ways for you to provide these opportunities for your child to strengthen their own intelligence and self-esteem in the comfort of your own home and with very little effort on your part.

So How is I CAN More Important Than IQ?

Well, if your child happens to fit in to society’s way of measuring intelligence, they will likely do quite well throughout their school years. If they don’t fit in to that standard, they will likely struggle.

All testing aside, the most important thing to instill in a child is the deep internal belief and knowing that they CAN do anything they put their minds to.

It’s true! For example, the Wright Brothers were determined to fly…they held to that belief so firmly that they finally achieved what others thought was impossible. There are countless stories of people who were written off by society that continued to persevere because they had that deep belief of I CAN. And you know what? They did!

How Do You Teach the I CAN? The Fourth Step of Building Your Child’s Self-Esteem:

This is one of the most important steps in building self-esteem in your child. Learning by experience and seeing results first-hand is one of hte most powerful ways to teach lessons that will last a lifetime. Have you ever heard the phrase tell me, show me, let me try?

So how do you do give your kids these learning opportunities? Provide opportunities to be responsible and make decisions.

Decision making is a vital skill that is not taught in schools. Consequently, we grow up not knowing how to make decisions for ourselves and become paralyzed as adults when a decision comes up. And responsibility…we live in a society of victim mentality. No one wants to take responsibility for their actions and it is creating massive chaos in the world around us.

60 Second Parenting Tip: How to Teach Decision Making and Responsibility

There are so many ways to teach your child decision making and responsibility in every day life. Here are just a few suggestions:

Let your child pick out their own clothes – Don’t worry if they are mismatched. The world won’t stop turning if little Susie is wearing a pink sock and a yellow sock with her princess shirt, camouflage pants, and go-go boots. They are learning what they like and how to choose. Make your child responsible for picking up after themselves – In our house, every night before bed (well almost every night) we pick up the toys my boys have played with during the day. If they choose not to help pick up, they don’t get to play with their toys the next day. A very young child can be taught this skill and when they are responsible for their things, they generally take greater care of them. Have your child help you plan and cook dinner for the family – this is a great way to teach them how to cook (and it doesn’t have to be gourmet, either). Talk to them about different meals, ask them what they like and let them pick a few of their favorites to prepare for the family. Another bonus is that when your kids help you cook dinner, they are MUCH more likely to eat what they cooked. They have a sense of involvement. This can also be done from a very young age. My 2 and 4-year-olds love to help me add ingredients and open cans etc. Just make sure and use your common sense and keep teach them about hot stoves and pans and sharp knives etc. Ask them what they think – When your child comes to you with a decision they are facing, it’s so easy to put on the Experienced Parent Hat and bury them in what we think they should do. Instead of immediately swooping in with a solution, ask them what they think they should do. Prompt them along when necessary and point out different options, but resist the temptation to lay down the law. Being able to come to a conclusion on their own is a very important process that will benefit them in all aspects of life. Besides, you aren’t always going to be there with them when they have a decision to make … whether they should try smoking or drugs, whether they should agree to have sex. You want your child to be confident in their ability to make decisions long before these situations present themselves. Left or Right? – This is a fun game if you are out for a walk or out for a drive with your kids. Take turns choosing whether you will turn left or right or continue going straight. Your child will love the sense of power in choosing which direction to go and it will help show them that decisions determine where you end up in life.

These are just a few examples. I hope you are getting the feel for how easy and fun it can be to teach these important lessons to your child in your normal daily activities. I’d love to hear your insights or experiences in implementing these strategies.

Until next time…happy parenting.

There are so many ways to teach your child decision making and responsibility every day.